


[S] Oh fuck.

by nekrateholic



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Homestuck Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25936063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekrateholic/pseuds/nekrateholic
Summary: Jaebum has to wake up a maid, if his unreliable sprite and the multi-color writings on the wall are to be trusted. It goes about as well as you'd expect from an Earth-destroying computer game.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 5
Kudos: 9
Collections: K-Pop Ficmix 2020





	[S] Oh fuck.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Verocity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verocity/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Gimme dat ol' time religion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6134009) by [Verocity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verocity/pseuds/Verocity). 



> to anyone whos read homestuck: i'm sorry   
>  to anyone who hasnt: i'm so, so sorry. i promise this isnt even remotely as confusing ~~or exciting~~ as the actual homestuck is.
> 
> in case you want to have at least a small bit of ~~spoilery~~ context but don't wanna sell your soul to hussie: [click here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLdeWTvuwrw) (mildly nsfw). for everyone else: [Do Not Read A Webcomic Called Homestuck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A53AHe7yORg) (also kinda nsfw)

“Bed,” Bambamsprite says helpfully, as if Jaebum could somehow miss the giant pale blue bed floating right on top the uneven staircase Yugyeom has built for him. 

_ I swear t0 g0d!  _ Yugyeom’s fuchsia words come through Jaebum’s fancy computer-glasses-donut device, courtesy of Bambamsprite upturning a Betty Crocker donut mix in the Alchemiter when Jaebum was trying to turn his ancient crate of a computer into something useful. The screen flashes a red skull, so fast that Jaebum is convinced he hallucinated it. Yugyeom is relentless, though.  _ If y0u take a nap right n0w I will dr0p y0ur t0ilet 0ut 0f the wind0w! _

Jaebum remains unfazed, calculating the distance between the edge of the stairs and the bed. “You mean the window that got blown over by that giant monster? We’re running out of grist anyway.”

The staircase wobbles under Jaebum’s feet. One thing’s for sure, Yugyeom most likely won’t be winning any architecture awards anytime soon.

_ Which means y0u need t0 fight m0re m0nsters! Get grist! S0 I can finish this shitty staircase bef0re the g0ddamn Earth expl0des with y0u in it! _

“Bed,” Bambamsprite repeats, a little huffy this time. “Sometime this century, please.” 

Jaebum sorely regrets prototyping his kernelsprite with Youtube merch. Who knew his guilty pleasure beauty guru would come back to haunt his ass, quite literally. 

“Sorry Yugyeom,” he says, after mentally preparing himself for potential downfall - Yugyeom’s stairs may be badly built but they are _ high.  _ It’s oddly underwhelming when he actually lands on soft sheets and a softer pillow. “Maybe you could drop that toilet on some monsters and build up the stairs while I’m gone?”

_ D0n’t y0u dare- _

Jaebum closes his eyes and the world disappears.

*

His eyes snap open. He’s in a bed still but everything is purple now. The walls, the legs of the table in the corner, the windows and the curtains carelessly thrown over them are full of rows and rows of  _ WAKEUPTHEMAIDWAKEUPTHEMAIDWAKEUPTHEMAID. _ The letters are huge, flashing between bright orange and baby blue. Jaebum closes his eyes for a moment. The constant change of colors is doing unpleasant things to his brain.

He decides to listen, though. It must have been pretty important for someone to go through all that trouble. 

But then again… who exactly is the maid?

*

Jaebum wakes up to a book in the face.

The next thing he sees is a giant slime-green monster swiping its ugly, flat color claws at his head. 

The bed poofs out of existence and Jaebum falls, headfirst, watching the colors of the monster’s clothes change the further he goes. They’re all ugly. Who the hell designed this game? 

He’s caught by their couch floating mid air. He vows to never say anything bad about its ugly pattern again.

_ Fucking finally! Trying t0 save y0ur ass fr0m the stupid m0nster while y0u’re napping was n0t fun! _ Yugyeom’s fuchsia letters fly through his donutglasses. The screen flashes red again but Jaebum ignores it. Who knows what lurked in his computer before he alchemized it. It’s probably harmless.

Jaebum squints at Bambamsprite, who is currently fixing his hair in what’s left of Jaebum’s bathroom mirror. “Weren’t you supposed to, I don’t know, protect me? Since you made me fall asleep?”

“Sure.” Bambamsprite shrugs, then floats to Jaebum. The couch flies across the field, right in Jaebum’s room, through the wall conveniently missing courtesy of a previous monster attack. Bambamsprite glares at where the sky would’ve been, then floats to Jaebum again. “Did you wake up the maid?”

“That’s what the walls in that place said, too,” Jaebum says, absently jumping on his hoverbat to bonk a small monster on the head. Grist spills from its tiny body and he hovers over to collect it. A combination of a hoverboard and a baseball bat was not something he ever thought he’d create or enjoy but yet again, Bambamsprite had taken things into his own ghostly hands when Jaebum went for the Alchemiter. 

“Wait, so you didn’t wake up the maid?” Bambamsprite shrieks. “You were supposed to! Oh god. Do I have to do everything by myself?”

A moment later, another ghostly bed hits Jaebum in the ankles, knocking him off the hoverbat and into the soft pillows.

He’s barely able to register the flash of  _ N0! _ before he’s out again.

*

Jaebum finds himself in the purple room again. He ignores the writings on the wall this time and hops straight out of bed. 

Only he doesn’t really land; instead, he floats. 

Well. Whoever designed SBURB was really fond of floating, it seems.

There is a very nice looking door in this room but Jaebum ignores it in favor of the window. He can float now. What use are doors anyway? 

He purses his lips when a nice vase full of white-blue roses crashes into the ground upon his exit. Some of the petals scatter and they stand out like a sore thumb against all the purple. He allows himself a moment to admire the contrast before he forces his mind to focus: the maid.

There are a bunch of black, humanoid creatures bumbling about in the streets below him and on instinct, Jaebum moves closer to the tower he flew out of. He should probably hide. The humanoid creatures don’t seem to be able to float and they lack the purple pyjamas he’s wearing, too.

Wait, what?

He looks down, only to be met with matching purple pyjamas. They look fancy, with a tiny lavender moon on his chest, surrounded by some intricate swirls in the same color and darker purple everywhere else. It matches - everything, really. The more Jaebum looks around, the more he finds that everything here is various shades of purple. 

Well. They could’ve picked a worse color, at least.

He floats along the wall of the tower, trying not to make noise. It’s not hard, given he’s floating, at least until his foot gets tangled in a pair of earphones hanging from a nearby window. Who even keeps their earphones on the window sill?

But the damage is already done: the headphones tumble through the air until they meet their untimely demise on the ground below. A few of the black creatures look up, then all of them look up. They don’t have the most expressive features but even from here, Jaebum can see the anger and confusion on their faces. He ducks into the nearest window, the same one with the earphones hanging from it, and hopes the occupants of this tower aren’t as angry as the black creatures below.

*

This time, when Jaebum wakes up, it’s to Bambamsprite furiously shaking him. 

“The maid! You found the maid! Did you wake her up?”

Jaebum groans, his donutglasses already full of fuchsia. “I was going to before you woke me up. Where is this place, anyway? What were the black creatures?”

Bambamsprite abruptly lets go of him, floating away on a respectable distance. “I’m not supposed to tell you that. You’ll need to find out for yourself.”

_ It’s called Derse!  _ Yugyeom types, singular lines of fuchsia now, instead of the text walls when Jaebum first woke up.  _ I f0und a manual 0nline! It’s really hard t0 read because the pers0n wh0 wr0te it types like an ancient dead writer! _

Bambamsprite looks about as surprised as Jaebum is confused. “You found a manual.”

_ Yes! _

“And what did that manual say exactly?” He prompts, because Yugyeom is too busy moving his toilet again.

_ I’m n0t very sure because it was hard t0 read but it said that we have like… dream selves! And they are in s0mething called The Medium I think this is the place where we are n0w but n0t sure! _

“Because it was very hard to read,” Jaebum adds.

_ Yes! It said that each SBURB player has a dream self 0n this Derse thing 0r the 0ther 0ne, I think Pr0bstich! 0r s0mething like that! They’re supp0sed t0 be awake when we’re asleep but we have t0 wake up there first! _

Bambamsprite facepalms, which results in his palm going straight through his face since he’s not exactly corporeal. It’s a disturbing sight and for a moment, no one says anything.

“It’s called Prospit,” Bambamsprite says, hand still in his face. When he takes it out, he glares at where the sky would’ve been.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to help me,” Jaebum points out.

Bambamsprite’s eyes widen, then he glares again, harder. “Well if you had played with close friends with meaningful relationships like normal people instead of finding players on the internet...” There is a fuchsia _ Hey!  _ which Jaebum is fairly sure Bambamsprite sees but ignores. “Anyway, you have a maid of time to wake up. Chop chop.”

This time, when the bed crashes into Jaebum’s knees and topples him over, he’s almost expecting it.

*

He wakes up in the room with the earphones. Now that he has time to take a look around, he finds it’s quite the same as his own tower - everything is purple or shades of it.

There are books scattered on a small desk in the corner, a glass breaking just over them. It’s suspended mid-air, shards scattered but never falling over the books. It looks like floating is a big theme with this game. The glass isn’t the weirdest part, though. There is a shopping cart pushed into the corner across the desk. Jaebum blinks against it but the sight doesn’t change. It does look like a regular shopping cart. There is a bird cage inside it, too. It’s open and there is no bird inside but the whole thing is odd enough that Jaebum decides it’s for his own good if he just - doesn’t think about it.

He goes for the bed pushed against one of the walls instead. There is a lump in it, covered by a blanket from head to toe. Jaebum gently uncovers it, only to be met with-

He didn’t know maids look like that.

The man in the bed is sleeping, or at least pretends he is. Jaebum can see the steady rise and fall of his chest, even in that calculated way Jaebum knows all too well.

“Why would Bambamsprite send me to wake you up if you’re already awake?”

The man relaxes, then sighs as he sits up in bed. “You’re smarter than you look. That’s a bonus. I’m awake because I woke up earlier than I was supposed to. Ascended to god tier earlier too, which ended up dooming the timeline.”

Jaebum can’t help but notice that this person’s pyjamas are a little bit different. He has a cape, for one, topped with a long and pointy hood that would probably make him look like a wizard if he actually put it. Where Jaebum’s pyjamas have the moon and the swirls, the maid has something like a cog - and it’s all red. 

“Your pyjamas are different.” Jaebum states.

“Mm, observant,” the person says. Jaebum should probably ask for a name at some point. “My name is Jinyoung.”

Oh. Well.

Jaebum decides to go with the next most important question. “Why am I here exactly, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung seizes him up, floating just above the floor. “How much do you know about SBURB, exactly?”

“It blew up Earth,” Jaebum shrugs. He should probably be a little more concerned about it. “I’m currently trying to reach a gate so I can escape these monsters that are attacking my home. This is dreamland, so to speak?”

“Dream bubbles,” Jinyoung corrects. He sighs again. “You’re a bit more behind than I hoped but it’ll have to do.”

Second most important question remains unanswered but Jaebum decides to go with number three anyway. “Why are you a maid?”

“Classes are not gender-exclusive,” Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “Just because you’re a boring old knight doesn’t mean that male maids of time don’t exist.”

Jaebum stares at him. “I’m a what?”

“A knight of heart- you know what, nevermind. We’ll probably have time to talk at some point but that point is not now.”

With that, Jinyoung grabs his hand and they fly out the window again.

*

Jaebum expects to wake up at any moment now. Yugyeom wouldn’t leave him sleeping for too long with the monsters and his grist hunger.

He doesn’t wake up.

Jinyoung gives him a sympathetic glance. “You’re stuck here now, I’m afraid. Your other self died when one of the huge monsters attacked. Your sprite couldn’t save you.”

Honestly, Jaebum should probably be more concerned with dying. But he’s here now, and his awake self’s demise feels like a distant dream. Ironic.

“Bambamsprite wasn’t the best choice anyway. Why me, though?”

Jinyoung laughs. “Yeah, I prototyped my kernelsprite with my pet parrot, among other things. Youngjae was very confused about being able to communicate now. I kind of miss him. As for why you,” he trails off. “That’s how the game is programmed. Fate, or whatever. Or maybe I just wanted company, you’re kind of pretty.” It ends up with a wink, too. 

“So sprites don’t exist here?” Jaebum asks, ignoring the rest of the statement. He will miss Bambamsprite, useless as he was. Maybe even Yugyeom’s fuchsia letters.

“That’s relative,” Jinyoung shrugs. “Normally sprites exist here, sort of. Ours don’t.” He stops abruptly, Jaebum almost floating into his back. They’re face to face now, and Jinyoung almost looks sad. “This is a doomed timeline, Jaebum. We’re going to die. Everyone is. But hey, the good part,” he grins, “is that we also get to save the main timeline people.”

If Jaebum was confused before, it’s nothing compared to  _ now. _

*

“We’re in the royal court, please be more careful,” Jinyoung hisses when Jaebum’s foot catches on a corner. In his defence, floating isn’t an exact science.

They are in a castle now, although Jaebum hasn’t seen any guards so far. The first black creature that greets them nods at Jinyoung, then narrows its eyes at Jaebum. Eventually, it lets them into a small room, away from the main hallway.

“Your highness,” Jinyoung bows, yanking Jaebum into one as well. When they straighten up, he nods at both creatures. “King Jackson, queen Mark.”

“Queen-” Jinyoung slaps a hand over Jaebum’s mouth before he can finish the sentence, although he can do little to stop the shock on his face.

The- the  _ queen  _ laughs. “It’s okay, I’m quite used to it. I take it you’re ready to leave us, Jinyoung?”

“I’m going to miss you,” the king says, voice wobbly and. Jaebum blinks at him. The king is crying?

The queen nudges him in the ribs. “The ring, darling.”

“Right,” king Jackson says, procuring a small pouch somewhere from his robes. Jinyoung takes it with a bow. “We’ve also prepared the items you asked.”

He signals to someone and a moment later, three black creatures walk through the door, each with a royal pillow in their hands. One has a teddy bear, one rusty a triangle pendant and the third one… a gas mask?

Jaebum decides the best way to keep his sanity throughout this game is to Not Ask.

Jinyoung captchalogues them into his own sylladex, which makes a handful of spinning tops pop out. A stack modus, then. Or maybe queue. Regardless, Jaebum thought Jinyoung would have something fancier, maybe hashmap.

But alas, the spinning tops are now on the floor and in motion, and Jinyoung looks vaguely terrifying. 

“Come on, Jaebum. It’s time to go back in time and save the world.”

**Author's Note:**

> dear Verocity,  
> oh my god. okay first of all thank you so much for joining and allowing me to tinker with your fics!! i figured out, too late, that you may already have gotten one of these but . new clothes and all that? anyway it was a honor and a pleasure and really damn scary because _w o w_. your fics are like a sucker punch to the soul.


End file.
